A typical Cliche

[LH19]

Holy smokes dude that was painful to read and you have a full blown Girls Gone Wild on your Hands. Get into IC immediately as you have a lot to work on. I am sorry it has come to this but you came to the right place. See my comments below.

One of the big things in my life has always been affairs. I didn't believe in them.

I don't believe in them either especially when you are married.

She says that maybe she can see us back together if I change.

Take this with a grain of salt.

So I do, I change overnight.

It is impossible for you to change overnight. You have a lot of work to do going forward.

During this time my wife agrees to one boundary, while she is still considering what I am working to show her, she wont send anything unclothed just underwear. That literally brings me to tears and makes me feel happier than I have in awhile. I realize in the morning I just had euphoria over letting my wife send underwear shots to other men and Im disgusted anew.

Yeah that's a tough one.

So now I am here hoping to find support and techniques to help.

You came to the right place.

Tomorrow is officially the 1 month mark since she told me. It has been a roller coaster. Since the beginning she has told me still cares for me and wants to be friends. She wants to live here while we sort out our new lives. It is honestly best for both of us financially.

One month is a blip on the radar. This is going to take months probably years to play out.

She discussed moving out of our bedroom but I haven't allowed it Im just not ready to sleep alone. She hasn't fought me on it.

That is very needy and controlling behavior that you need to STOP immediately.

She does what she wants and seems very happy and free. She goes out to see friends, she started smoking again at least socially. She talks on her group and has informed me that the men she lied to me about are no longer apart of her life they got boring and needy. There are new ones but at least I can take solace in that they are from after we separated. Obviously this doesn't help. In my mind ever person in that group is an EA. Regardless if there conversations are sexual or not they are a crouch to help her feel better. She also joined bumble but assures me is just set to BFF mode.

I am afraid she is not being completely honest with you dude.

She has wanted friends for years and has always had a hard time making and keeping them. She says a lot of that is due to me being overbearing and rude. Shes not wrong in that regard I did chase away her friends and have a very hard time being social. So even when I tried I made her feel anxious when I was around her friends. I am not allowed to really ask her much about anything other than school, work and what we are doing together.

You need to work on the behavior.

I have been working harder on not bringing up our relationship anymore. I have been giving her more space to figure out what shes doing. It has not been easy and I am definitely not accomplishing it that well.

You have to give her time and space to figure her stuff out.

I am not going to lie, this is going to be the toughest thing you have ever gone through in your life. The more you apply pressure the more you will push her away.

Good luck man!