Continuing Forward

[may22]

Hope, i second U on this (and also what you've outlined yourself in your post)-- this entire situation is on him, his choice, he can't handle it and is blaming you, in a really gross way too. I'd be like, REALLY....??? (imbue that word with all the sarcasm possible). (And would be thinking, F you.)

So. Here's a thing I thought about as a good thing about being single again-- I think some of us were talking about it several months ago here-- once you get past your H, you get to fall in love again. All that gooey limerent nonsense my H was going on about for his AP... I would get to have that again with someone new. I also daydreamed about that made up new guy, perfect in every way... I mean I knew in my logical self that this was a fantasy, but in a fantasy everything gets to be exactly how you want it, right? And I focused on all the annoying traits of my H and all the things I would be able to do differently once he MO. And TBH I did have to have a bit of mourning for those changes I'd imagined when he decided not to MO after all. (Some of the house stuff we're still going to do. But the idea of everything being 100% up to ME and not having to compromise on anything felt pretty attractive.)

Finally-- read Yail's thread and especially her last few posts. She is loving life being single and such an inspiring example. I'm sure there are some things that you can point out about the value of not having to live with your H right now? I totally get the part about D4 and all the difficulties around single parenting, both for her and for you, and I'm not trying to minimize that at all. But it is what it is right now, and if you can look for the silver lining in the situation I think that can only be helpful.

Hang in there. Sorry your H is being a d*ck. ((HOPE))