It has been one week since I last checked the phone records. Not a big deal to some, but it's a huge accomplishment for me. It's the craziest thing to obsess about. I don't know why I was torturing myself by verifying he is still communicating with OW. It's not like he wants me back so I have no idea why I was doing that.
Anyways, baby step towards detachment. I am finding it hard to do because he comes home every weekend to work on the house. It seems he's not getting much work done. We still eat together, go to the store together and act like friends. I don't want to be in the friend zone, but I am scared to pull away.
I bombed my job interview. The first question was so difficult that my mind went blank mid sentence. I was silent for about 5 seconds but it felt like 5 minutes of silence. After I struggled with my answer, the lady apologized and told me she had the wrong interview questions. It was my first telephone interview and I was so nervous. It's hard to answer questions without getting some type of nonverbal feedback. And they didn't ask any follow-up questions. They strictly went down the list. It was only a 17 minute interview. Not one question was asked about my work experiences, skills, etc.
I'm really pi$$ed at myself for my behavior. Why is it so hard to DB? Why am I so scared to detach? This man has been cheating on me for 2 years and I'm scared to pull away. What the he!! is wrong with me?
Me: 47 H: 45 T: 24 M:23 D23 BD #1 12/19: ILYBNILWY BD #2 2/20: I discovered H was having an affair with OW. (OW is 21 and lives in another country) Current R status: Separated.
