WW post D (Thanks BenB part 3)

[ovrrnbw]

I'd just say OK. Let them hang out, it's not like you can stop it (and why would you anyways?). Be cordial but not nosy. Go about your business. Don't get drawn into to big talks or arguments.

[Mumin]

Thanks ovr! That will be my approach.
Nice to see you back on my thread btw

What struck me is she might spend the night.
Not sure how I would handle an argument about who sleeps where..
Will primarily avoid argument though.

[ovrrnbw]

Just remember it's your house and your bed, you wouldn't go to someone's house and expect to sleep in their bed. No need to argue about it either.

[sandi2]

What struck me is she might spend the night.
Not sure how I would handle an argument about who sleeps where..
Will primarily avoid argument though.

(sigh.......) Wish I had a nickle every time I read this scenario from an emotionally attached H.

[Mumin]

Lol Sandi! Thanks for a good laugh.

Just remember it's your house and your bed, you wouldn't go to someone's house and expect to sleep in their bed. No need to argue about it either.

This! Thanks ovr, this got me back to the right mindset.
Didn't really matter tonight but still very good advice that gave me confidence.
SIL wasn't here when I got home. So now saying good night from my own comfy bed.
On to a new great day in this new reality! Spring and soon summer!

[Mumin]

Hi agian,

Anyone have a good perspective/experience or tips when it comes to "mind-movies".
Almost every day that she isnt home I keep envisoning W and OM having sex, sometimes several times a day.
Finding traces of a butt plug sure hasn't helped...
Doing laundry for "the family" including all her new thongs also doesn't help...

Been considering to split the laundry. Till now we have just but it in two piles (white & colo) as per usual.

[JosephS]

Hi agian,

Anyone have a good perspective/experience or tips when it comes to "mind-movies".

Force yourself to think about something else. Kids, jobs, chores that need to be done, a movie you wanna see or have seen. For me acknowledging that I’m doing it and immediately thinking about something else normally distracts me long enough for the “other thoughts” to pass naturally. And take away anything that might trigger that. If doing her laundry triggers those thoughts, buy an extra hamper for yourself and let her know she’s on her own. Or you can just let hers pile up til she gets the hint hers needs to be done.

[Mumin]

Hi everyone!
Short update and 2 questions.
I played golf for the third time this season today, that's definitely a record. Uually I play less than 3 times per season.
Went so-so but had a great time. Also, less mind movies but I think that is mostly bc I know she is with the kids this weekend.
Work has picked up this past week and I find it a bit hard to focus when working from home. Especially now that I have taken it upon myself (mostly because I want to) to do all household chores 1-2 times per week. (W does way less atm)
We basically haven't spoken to eachother at all this week but when we do its like we have this weird vibe.
I am a bit neglecting I guess. She tries to sound nice and make conversation. But I really don't want to and am a bit angry at her still. Do you think I should try to stay positive/neutral towards her? Rather than a bit avoidant and neglecting..

So the main question.
In just over a week D2 is turning 3.
Given Corona there wont be a party but I have invited her best friend to come over (with one parent) if they are healthy.
Still haven't told W about it since it is my weekend with the kids and since Corona nothing is for sure.
Considering telling W that we will have a bit of a birthday party for D2 on Sunday. Not really sure what I want but what is best for D2 goes first in this case. We all do still live in the same house.
How do you think I should approach this? Should I even tell her?
Also, my sister might come as well and W MOS DEF will not want to face her.

[Mumin]

Ping

[Vapo]

Definately tell her. She might have strong feelings regarding the issue. Furthermore I do not thinkj you should be inviting anyone during this quarantine. That is the point and purpose of a quarantine. Social distancing means exactly that. No social contacts outside the immediate family.