I don't want a divorce II NEW THREAD Pt 10

[LH19]

KK,

I want to start off by saying I have nothing but compassion for what you are going through but I have to shoot straight with you here.

Am I working and focusing on myself. .

Yes but with the intent of getting your H back.

I'm eating right MOST of the time. I'm exercising. I'm getting sleep. I'm staying in contact with friends in the best way possible in light of the quarantine. I get to work everyday. My home is clean. My pets looked after. I'm pursuing focusing on new techniques in a long time hobby. I'm reading/listening to audiobooks. I've got 30 day goals I'm working towards that are all about me - not H or my M. I'm doing a 10week course on saving the M but its really just more stuff focusing on me --- dropping the negatives and thinking positively..

These are all fantastic! Keep it up for YOU!

DBing is about no longer going down cheeseless tunnels... its about seeing what works to get a different response from your S and doing more of that... right?.

Not it is not about getting a response from your spouse. Your changes have to be real or they won't stick.

If I'm looking fantastic and acting as if... my head is held high and I'm exuding confidence and this will not break me gets my H on his own accord mention a bike ride with me... who knows if he can ever follow through but it was his idea and his alone (not based on me begging and pleading). If he thinks enough of me to bring a tin of candy because he bought it for me months ago when most people would have chucked it.... then so be it..

Your BSing yourself and you are certainly not exuding confidence. A confident person would not pursue someone who is rejecting them.

Maybe its because the other shoe is about to drop???.

What other shoe can drop? He's divorcing you and moving in with his affair partner.

Maybe JoeS is right and he is placating his own emotions due to the guilt of all the pain he has caused me?.

Joe is a very wise man! Unless he is a psychopath he feels bad for hurting you.

Shouldn't I feel better that we have seemed to come to emotional neutral now from such a negative emotional state on his part? .

Yes if your goal is a friendship. If not it doesn't really matter.

Either way I know that it doesn't change anything in my immediate future. I still need to focus on me. H isn't changing his current course at this point in time and he may never. I'm the prize... I have acted in a way in the last 10 days that I have immense value. I'm proud of that.

Again the prize doesn't chase after the contestant. You are saying the right things but your actions speak a complete different language.