I'm eating right MOST of the time. I'm exercising. I'm getting sleep. I'm staying in contact with friends in the best way possible in light of the quarantine. I get to work everyday. My home is clean. My pets looked after. I'm pursuing focusing on new techniques in a long time hobby. I'm reading/listening to audiobooks. I've got 30 day goals I'm working towards that are all about me - not H or my M. I'm doing a 10week course on saving the M but its really just more stuff focusing on me --- dropping the negatives and thinking positively.
DBing is about no longer going down cheeseless tunnels... its about seeing what works to get a different response from your S and doing more of that... right?
If I'm looking fantastic and acting as if... my head is held high and I'm exuding confidence and this will not break me gets my H on his own accord mention a bike ride with me... who knows if he can ever follow through but it was his idea and his alone (not based on me begging and pleading). If he thinks enough of me to bring a tin of candy because he bought it for me months ago when most people would have chucked it.... then so be it.
There was so much anger in our interactions before 10 days ago. He was so angry. ^^^^ Those are breadcrumbs I know. They mean nothing and they are no where near where he is at a place if ever to recon. I get that.
If I'm doing something different that is getting a different response than anger... then YES I am doing something right??? I'd like to think that. BUT, maybe the more experienced people here know its the calm before the storm???
Maybe its because the other shoe is about to drop???
Maybe JoeS is right and he is placating his own emotions due to the guilt of all the pain he has caused me?
Shouldn't I feel better that we have seemed to come to emotional neutral now from such a negative emotional state on his part?
Either way I know that it doesn't change anything in my immediate future. I still need to focus on me. H isn't changing his current course at this point in time and he may never. I'm the prize... I have acted in a way in the last 10 days that I have immense value. I'm proud of that.
