KC, you're falling back into endlessly talking about H again. When he texted you, what the text said, what documents he requested, what you said in response, etc. etc. None of that matters AT ALL. He's just sticking to business which is what you should do as well. Please understand this- if he texts you asking for a copy of a document he could print out himself it is simply him being lazy. It DOES NOT mean he wants to recon, or that he's desperate to talk to you, or that he is waiting for you to call and commit your undying love to him so the two of you can get back together. He's just being lazy, period. He is done, he has been done, and he will be done for quite some time. You have GOT to accept this and move on! Please quit hyper-focusing on him and focus on YOU. What are YOU doing with your life? What goals do YOU have? What are YOU doing to make those goals a reality? Less H, more KC. That is your path to recovery.
Focusing on Me -----
I keep up with exercise. Need to cut more sugar out of my diet as I had a little backslide. Local distillery had cocktail pick up hour and well there went my Saturday and Sunday.
I'm trying to do a random act of kindness daily. With the lockdown a little hard so right now its limited to picking a random person on my friends list on FB and leaving them an out of the blue sweet pick me post personalized to them.
Audio books... reading...
10 week course on saving your M when your the only spouse that wants to save the M. It really a program first focused on you... then how to communicate with your H if needed. Its got lots of videos/homework so I figured it would hammer home dealing with myself... and its 10weeks... so a good commitment on my part to stay focused on me.
I commit to my list of goals everyday.
I'm lucky and still get to go to work so less hours to sit and fidget about everything.
There was some texting between H and I on Saturday. A bit of a miscommunication on his part for which he apologized for but continued to text asking some basic questions of me about a recent meeting at work. I didn't always respond right away... neither did he and I left the convo before he did.
Sunday he returned to get more stuff from the house. I let him decide how he wanted to proceed and what he was taking. He was talkative asking more about my work. He mentioned what he was doing. I only asked questions if it pertained to what he said --- He's rewiring a barn, ME - your parents?, H - yes.
He stated that he was frustrated with the loan process for mortgage. I validated his frustration and moved on. He asked again if I had talked to atty about financial order. I said no and that I had spent all my time focusing on the affidavit he needed. He then looked down at the truck and quietly said he hopes he could leave me alone and not bother me with that again.... was I supposed to hear that? i almost couldn't and I just ignored.
We laughed as he handed me my power staple gun. He kept in his hunting stuff to hand up targets. We talked about the last time I went to use it after not having used it for years and literally power stapled my finger --- yeah that hurt!
He seemed surprised that he couldn't get more into his truck. He has at least 1 more if not 2 more trips to get it all.
He did the absolute weirded thing ever. Which I suppose is par for the course for WWH AND I know it means nothing but it left me boggled for words. So last Sunday I had already packed up his clothes in clear totes. As he was putting them in the truck he asked what the container of fruit slices was? I said I don't know it was on your half of the closet. I remember 6-9mo ago H telling me he bought some stuff from a co-worker as part of the girl scout fund raiser - there were two items never opened on his half of the closet. I figured he brought them home and put them there as he emptied his bag and completely forgot about them. I just packed them up with his stuff.
Well he comes here Sunday. I open the overhead door and the first thing he does is hand me one of the two items he bought and said "these are yours". It was a tin of mint candy ( I love mint!) I have no doubt when H bought the item many months ago he did so with me in mind. But, given everything happening now AND that I packed them up and sent with his stuff 1 week ago HE made the effort to bring them back to me??? He could have given them to his mom, his nephews, who ever he is staying with currently... it was a small tin of candy for heck's sake. He went to a lot of trouble to give me candy. WEIRD.....
I understand its just the weird things they do... it means nothing. I feel better writing it out as it boggled me and now I'm leaving it for the universe.
I really am focusing on me. I did fantastic when he was here Sunday --- I was a woman only a fool would leave.
