Glad you are still doing well! Sorry about your job being affected, I hope things get back to normal quickly once they start easing restrictions.
Originally Posted by BenB
W has been coming over to my place a few times to hang out and play with the pug these past few weeks. I“ve allowed it since we were waiting to hear back if the lump she found is cancer or not.
Sounds like you're just being there for her, which of course is fine.
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I can see she hasn't done any work on herself mentally, not that I have asked, but I still see signs of someone who wants to escape reality. It is not an attractive quality. While I've done so much work internally and focused on my growth, she seems to be the same person albeit kinder to me than when this madness started.
It's really hard to tell what's going on internally though. And I know we talk about how sometimes they have an epiphany and beg to get back together, but that's not always the case. I think I've mentioned my friend before whose wife left him and moved in with OM. They sold their business and house and split the proceeds and went their separate ways although they never did officially get divorced. They didn't speak one word for almost 2 years. Their recon was long and slow and happened in baby steps. At first they just met over coffee, then eventually started going to movies and dinner together and it progressed from there. It was really like they started the dating process all over again. They are living together and happier than ever now.
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I wasn't prepared for that question and all I could do was tell the truth
I don't see why you can't be honest about that.
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Last week she messaged and asked if we should meet for lunch and we did. There she told me that she got the test results from the biopsy. The tumour was benign, they wouldn't remove it but they'll need to keep an eye on it.
That's great news! Especially right now when it's so hard to schedule surgery.
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Two days ago she wrote and asked if I wanted to join for lunch but I politely declined(I was busy). Yesterday she wrote and asked if I was home. I didn't see the message so I replied about an hour later that I was now on my way home.
Interesting. Sounds like she's missing you.
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Anyway, I need to think long and hard about what I want but most likely I will send the letter soon and finalize the divorce.
Have you thought about talking to her about it? Even if you're ready to proceed I think it would still be the polite thing to do.
