A little lost - possible MFC wife

[Tmason]

Yes, this weekend was productive. We need to do work on the house/yard so we worked together on putting in a chain link fence/gate. It went well, we were able to work well together, we always have worked on projects well together, and it was good to feel like we accomplished something.
On Saturday, W was feeling down because of the lockdown, so she suggested we get all the foods we would get for a party, if we were having one. So we did, then got on Zoom with some friends and did the jackbox.tv games. It was fun and very much needed.
There are times it seems like she is trying to make it work, then other times when she isn't. We have another marriage counseling session on Wednesday but we haven't done what the counselor suggested yet. After our last one, the counselor sent us "homework", and W and I talked about it, I said you need to let me know when you want to do this, she said ok, but hasn't brought it up yet. I don't want to nag about it so I haven't mentioned it either.

I also stopped saying I love you at night and when I leave for work in the morning. It feels weird though because it's something I've said for 23 years. She hasn't said it back to me in weeks, and I've kept it up so stopping is hard. It's automatic. But this is one of the rules right?

I'm still working on me, praying, reading more books on how to deal with depression and exercising daily.

But I do have to ask, the point is to be the best version of yourself. Work on me and improve myself, but doesn't that include being more attentive to those you love? Seeing how they are doing, complimenting them when they look good or doing something good? I do that with my kids. Being a good person is getting out of your own head and focusing on others, how does that jive with the almost ignoring W? or am I misreading the 37 rules?