Affair Fog-LRT 4

[MrBrside]

Hi KTO,

IMO you are still seeing things through rose tinted glasses.

Pretty much from day 1, your focus has been to get the WW back. Things are falling into place - BUT she is still wayward..

She told me more of the A today. Some if it is a little embarrassing but I'm going to throw it out there to continue being open and honest. She said it started off as physical. Basically, he was good and "adventurous" in bed. I asked why she never asked that of me. She said she resented me at that point and that's when she became more attached to him.

This started from a lack of respect.. What have you done to change that ? From your posts you still come across as a needy and nice guy.. WW is still calling the shots ( stroppy over FB ???? WTF ) and you are appeasing. This does nothing to gain respect - you are trying to keep the peace / keep her happy.

She's apologizing numerous times a day, asking how I'm feeling, trying to support me in my process of healing.

I'm going to go back to my sitch - after i found out about EA1 i was done. WW tried really hard for the fist week or so - appologising etc - After a week the blame started to come into it a bit more, but generally i thought we were happy - we had moved on ( hell she even said she fancied trying to another baby - sound familiar ??? ) and for 8 weeks i thought things were good - 1 argument in 8 weeks.... Looking back, NOTHING had changed.. I was still the ME she didnt respect and she was still WW.. The only difference was both of us were trying extra hard to be nice / not argue etc ( i'll liken it to that initial dating period where you tolerate more as the butterflys are worth it )... At the time i would have said we were really happy - I had done no work on myself after EA1 ( hadnt found this site yet ) and she hadnt either... A week after asking to try for another baby and 8 weeks after EA1 ended, EA2 and EA3 (then PA) popped onto the scene...

My point being, talk is cheap and your WW has done no work - and you are far from where you need to be..

OM2, OM3 etc will pop up unless she gets out of this WW mindset - maybe in 8 weeks, maybe 3 years.

I know my W. She is truly sorry. I also know I want her home.

1) You are still letting emotion rule
2) Read sandis breakdown of WWs - You are not dealing with your wife. I know you want to think you are, but she is still WW...Hence unless you really earn her respect, its probably not a case of if but when.. its probably worth noting, that she will act on emotion. So regardless of her knowing its wrong etc, she just wont be able to help herself.

KTO, i really hope this does work out for you.. But keep focusing and you - and PLEASE listen to Sandi - Her insight is priceless