I know you tend to see things like this for your girls a little more holistically than a lot of people around here so don't take this as preaching, because you don't need it, but I thought I'd share some of my thoughts on how these things effect the kids. As a step child, a step mother, the mother of a step child, the friend of many many divorced kids, and a couple of divorced friends. I always hope people try for the kids sake, not stay together for them. Children of the 70s, 80s, and early 90s have a very different view of divorce because I think things were treated just so differently back then. And to be honest based on some of the crazy pants behavior I see around here with some of these WS/WAS their divorces are probably not going to be that much different with the big exception of the communication between themselves and their kids. The way we raise children these days is just so different. People don't really leave kids in the dark until the second dad walks out and never comes back or mom is loading them up in the car. Kids are so much more attune to the fact that their parents are real people with feelings and faults. I think in the world we live where parents are so much more cognizant of how these things tend to have a ripple effect throughout the kids lives has changed the amount of damage and frankly the kind of damage. Have faith that this won't irreparable damage them. No matter how it ends. They'll won't lose faith in love or partners being able to be stable, faithful, and true. And neither will we. No matter how this ends.
I'm not angry any more. I've moved into yet another phase of sadness. The anger was really rooted in the time biding he's doing. The fact that he gets what feels like an infinite amount of time to decide where his heart lies. While I lie in wait with infinite patience on an answer from a person who doesn't know if they can love me. It's incredibly infuriating to essentially be told you might not be enough every day. The sadness now is me knowing that in the end if he can't commit our stalemate is going to end by me asking him to leave. And knowing there's no going back after that. Because I've been waiting him out for 6 months, and I won't wait him out more than a year. And it kills knowing that there's a way this ends where I tried everything I could but he tried nothing because he spent 7 years of our lives telling me I was the love of his life but I was really just the consolation prize the entire time. There's a way that this ends where 7 years of life my life was a complete lie. That I missed my opportunity to have the second baby that I always wanted. That I might be so damaged by this and the relationship with my daughter's father that I may never date again. But when you read the stages of the LBS it feels pretty normal that we cycle through these feelings over and over again until we don't. And I'm confident that I'll get through it regardless of how this all ends.
Yeah we're running out of things to do and watch, but I have Jane the Virgin and Handmaid's Tale to dig through. But as a family we've been doing collections. We watched Deadpool and Deadpool 2 back to back. Then we moved on to the MCU. We're still playing through that. We have plenty of other collections we can start after that. We throw in games nights to keep us off the TV constantly. I'm pushing for puzzles now too. How are you guys holding up on staying entertained and not killing each other?
