Thank you so much May. Reading this felt like a comforting hug that I really needed.
Your point about expectations is a REALLY good one, and I somehow had not thought of it that way. It’s not just about letting go of expectations of R. It’s also letting go of my thoughts and expectations of life after D. You nailed it; I have been forcing myself to envision life as a divorced single mom, in an attempt to temper my hopes and to be realistic. But that isn’t serving me either.
And I too have caught myself worrying about being away from D4 while I’m with her. Then I get myself into a guilt/fear spiral and I’m not as present as I could be. Luckily I do catch myself doing it, but it’s comforting to have it mirrored back to me.
I so appreciate your post, it’s given me a lot to think about and it feels really helpful. Thank you.
