Must be tough molding yourself to fit the mood of your spouse.
Since October, she's been stand-offish 99% of the time. It's only when these short interludes come along that I have the hope that today will be as good as yesterday was, that the season will persist, and by some miracle become the predominant mood. I guess I could ask "Are we still good today?" but that seems clinical and unromantic. Checking if she is open to a kiss seems a better way to test the waters.
W also tells me things during these times. Not great slabs of information, but letting me know what I did wrong in the past. I don't know if these are just regrets or signs she is processing stuff and may be able to forgive me and get past it to a better us. I try to validate and I take note of everything so I can do better in future.
I also use the opportunity to show I'm keeping the door open; not talking a lot but I keep trying to be that lighthouse.
It often feels hopeless but I am sure I need to wait, perservere and prepare the field. The love of God can do incredible things.
