Thinking of you and hoping you are doing well. I have been thinking when I read your threads about what a total a$$hole I was to my mom when I was 13. It was awful. And just to my mom, too, not my dad. I definitely resonate with Alison's comment about the possibility that your D is taking her fears and anxiety out on the closest and safest person. It doesn't make it any easier in the moment, but maybe knowing that her behavior stems from her deep love and trust in you-- and she's acting out because she's a teenager and simply doesn't know how (yet) to control her emotions about everything around her that she has zero control over-- can ease the pain, even just a little bit?
Hope things are going ok.
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
