Don't feel mean. You aren't being mean. This has nothing to do with HIM. This is a boundary and is all about protecting YOU. Don't think about him for a second. Honestly. Your first responsibility now is to yourself and making sure you feel mentally healthy and whole so that you can be there for yourself and for your girls. Please, do not spend a second thinking about him. He made his bed. it it NOT your responsibility to fluff his GD pillows and let him back in while it is convenient for him... he made his decision and he can bear the consequences of that choice. It is NOT on you.

Are there things you can do for you during this time? Share them with us! Good books, TV shows, food, cocktails???? (I, sadly, think that the main growth I will have out of this quarantine is expanding my alcoholic palate.)

I feel like it might be good for you to just put down your phone (or go to airplane mode) for some period of time every day, to just focus on you and not even worry if he is going to text you or want to stop by or not. I'm really glad you are gaining strength and your power back in all of this. What can you do next to keep this momentum up?

Me (46) H (42)
M:14 T:18, D9 & D11
4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs
9/20 - present: R and piecing