Riding the Wave 3

[may22]

I feel like this extended status quo is both crazy hard and yet at the same time it is like just one foot in front of the other and before you know it another week has passed.

I'm really glad the girls are doing well and reconnecting with your H. I have been thinking about your girls and mine and their age differences... I think I was selfishly more worried about the time I would lose with them in terms of breaking up the household, and more scared for them about that psychological loss you talked about, losing their trust in men and love and commitment. That terrified me, that this [censored] up thing that was happening between H and me would affect them for their whole lives and maybe make it so they never could really trust a partner. I felt like they believe so deeply that H loves them with every fiber of his being and that will never end... but they also think he feels that same way about me, and if they saw that end, what would that mean for their belief in love? UGH. The fact that your girls are coming around and open to forgiveness makes me just really grateful for the resilience of the human spirit, and less anxious about what may come in the future for me/my girls.

Are you still feeling that anger? Or have you been able to let it go? I definitely believe that the power dynamics are a big, big issue for many couples (me for sure). I feel like we're doing a lot better at that... at least I am for sure, though from H's behavior I think he's let a lot of that go as well. But I'm confident it was at the root of a lot of our issues, maybe still there to deal with. (I'm sure us type-A gals will always have this to deal with, but I've definitely learned a lot about picking my battles and letting stuff go that I would not have a few years ago).

Five more weeks? Dang, girl... you have your work cut out for you. What is after Tiger King??? We've been watching Insecure on HBO but just got to the fourth season and were (sadly) surprised to realize now that we are caught up we can only watch one episode per week!

xx M