So we share custody of our dogs; I have the dogs during the week, and she gets them during the weekends. Every Friday evening, she comes by to pick up the dogs. When she's here, we usually talk a bit, but nothing serious. Just pleasant chit-chat, and certainly nothing about the divorce or the relationship.
Just curious.......did you share custody of the dogs during your time of going dark? If so, then you were never completely dark. See what I mean?
Quote
I don't know what any of this means, but like I said before, I'm kind of over it. I know that I probably should not have responded to the text of the picture of the dogs; and I probably should not have gone on the walk. But at this point, I just don't have the energy to deal with this anymore. I'm *so* emotionally drained after almost 9 months of this, that it almost doesn't even matter anymore. I'm kind of just.....*resigned* to whatever happens. I'm not pursuing her anymore in the sense that I'm not initiating *anything* with her. Yes, I respond when she initiates, but only then.
I can't speak for the LBH, but I can share what I've seen happen. IMHO, you never emotionally detached.....even when you went "dark". When you thought OM was out of the picture, you bounced into full on pursuit.........only to experience rejection after spending the night with your WW. Your emotions have suffered an extreme roller-coaster ride. Naturally, you feel exhausted, b/c there has been no true respite. Some LBH's never emotionally detach, they simply wear out from all the emotional fatigue. IMHO, LBH's try to make every tiny thing bear some type of meaningful message, and all it accomplishes is more fatigue. I think that's where you find yourself at the present.
I suggest you not respond to any photos she sends. It is a typical WW tactic to keep the LBH on the back burner. Don't respond to text that doesn't ask a direct question and absolutely needs an answer. If you simply MUST answer a question, don't use over two-three words. Think you can handle that? It's that or don't reply at all.
I don't know the situation about the dogs, or how many you have. I'm a dog lover, so I understand the attachment. With that said, I'll also tell you that your WW is only using the dogs as if it's a string tied to you. In other words, without the dogs, what other excuse does she have to contact you......and/or even better.......go to your place and play BFF?
You may have to make a hard decision about dividing the dogs between you & wife. Unless of course, you want to use them for the same reason.......a string tied to your W. Do what is best for you.
Anyway, I hope for your own sake you will decide to go completely off the planet dark with her. This time around, however, don't do it as a tactic to see how she'll respond. Do it for your mental & emotional health.
((hugs))
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
