Just wanted to check in. Not too much has changed since I last updated here... it's now been nine weeks since he came back from his trip and has been NC with AP. I thought I'd kind of measure where we are. The positives: I'm 100 percent positive he isn't in contact with her anymore. We have been together 24-7 now for going on four straight weeks (literally maybe a handful of hours during that stretch we've been apart, he's gone surfing a couple times and the grocery store a couple of times) and I'm frankly amazed that we have been getting along so well through all of this. We've fought a little here and there but nothing too dramatic and are able to repair quickly and well. I feel like we're having fun, both together on our own and with the kids, and both been supportive of the other person with work/family stuff. I'd say things feel better, we feel closer, little things like physical touch have started to pick back up again, he'll make breakfast and lunch and sometimes dinner when I'm busier with work than he is, will make me a cocktail, sit down and chat, get the kids ready for distance learning in the mornings. All and all I feel grateful for where we are, though we aren't where I want to be, really, yet.
I haven't pushed R talks and have been able to mostly let my angst about the A go, for now. It is still there. It has come up a few times and I've told him I feel it is like a cancer/abscess, needs to be dealt with, the sooner the better so I/we can heal. He hasn't freaked out or gotten super defensive/angry like he had been, maybe because I've just stated how I feel and let it go.
I'd asked him to talk to his IC about some stuff and he did, said she was helpful and gave him some things to think about and work on. I asked if he wanted to talk about it and he didn't.
Wayfarer, we sooooo need a drink together. xx
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
