Affair Fog-LRT 4

[sandi2]

Sandi, we have slept next to each other twice now. Once at her parents, once at our shared house. She initiated having sex with me and although I was skeptical I did not resist. She has even talked about it with me saying she wants that to happen again.

We hang out for the majority of the day as a family and then we go our separate ways. I'm finding times for us to be apart so we can be alone to think. I find that to be healthy. But she continues to talk future, even me timing having another child. She knew I wanted one for years and now she is saying she does too. Obviously, that is not happening now. She talks about our summer vacation and how she's looking forward to it (if the pandemic allows it). With her talking future, and not me, it's promising, right?

What happened to taking your IC's advice?

Did you not think it was a good idea to request she get tested for STD, before you jumped in bed with her?

I don't want to burst your bubble, but she's moving waaay too fast, IMHO. I would feel like she's being authentic if she wasn't initiating sex this quickly, and wasn't talking about another baby, and the next vacation coming up. She's driving the ball to home base every way she can, and ..........what LBH is going to resist sex? Certainly not any I've seen on the board, yet. Like you, LBH's usually think it is a promising sign. Well, if you are smart, you will take precaution not to impregnant her for the next four months, at least. Trust me, there has been more than one case where the LBH got suckered into having sex and then being told a baby was on the way. If I were you, and she comes up pregnant, especially after she brought up the subject of having another baby.......I'd be doing some solid verification.

IDK, maybe she's always had a high sex drive........and you thought nothing of it. Still, you should have thought about your health being at risk.

Here's something I want you to consider. According to her emotions, she fell out of love with you.......then fell into pseudo love with the OM.....then she has to fall out of pseudo love with him......and fall back in love with you. Now, do you honestly think she can do that overnight? You men think if she's initiating sex......it must be the real deal. I hope it is, but if it's not......it won't be long until you'll see old familiar signs. She doesn't get over the OM that easily.

I know everyone is ready for her return, but even you recognize there is still need to have space from each other to think it through. You don't have to relent and let her come home yet, just b/c you've slept together a couple of times. However, I think it blurs the lines, and makes it more complicated for you. This needs to come in stages/steps, instead of wham-bam thank-you mam speed.

Also, she came over yesterday and said, "you were right, the OM contacted me. He said he's hurt and pissed and I told him sorry but I'm where I need to be and I want my family." I was relieved she told me as soon as she saw me. She said she will continue to do that.

She said she would continue to do that? Does she..........or better yet, do you understand this is contact with OM? Responding to his messages/call is contact. Reading a text from him, works the same as if she reached out to him first. Don't kid yourself into believing this is "transparency". I see you being pleased that she told you about it, but at the same time, overlooking the fact she was still in contact with him. Withdrawals won't begin, until all forms of contact end.

I thought she was going to block him. Maybe I'm thinking about someone else. She needs to do everything possible to not see or hear him.......even if she has to give up her bar job.