Seperated but holding on for reconciliation

[JoeDredd]

It's fine if you don't want to agree with me. I'm concerned, and I think you choose to define waywardness as being only those who are having an affair. Google the word, wayward, and read the definition.

Hi Sandi, it's not that I don't agree with you. I am just trying to get my head around it. But you are right, I needed to look up the definition of 'wayward' to understand what you were saying. As you said, I mistook WW as meaning 'wants (or has) another man', and that thought was difficult and scary.

You aren't the first H who doesn't want to accept that his W has a wayward heart/mindset, and you won't be the last.

I don't doubt it. In fact, every time I've read something here and thought "But...", my very next thought has been "I bet every H says the same thing to themselves at this point." There is nothing new under the sun.

You did not read the parts of DR that you thought didn't apply to you. You threw out the rules you didn't think applied.

You are right about the DR book. I did bypass some chapters. But what rules did I throw out? (Not to argue the point, just so I understand what I might have missed.)

And, you are still skipping around and throwing out the parts you don't like.

What am I skipping around?

I hope you will recognize when you are being disrespected by your W. It really concerned me when you asked how to know if she was being disrespectful.

Oh, I know when she is being disrespectful. My problem was not identifying it, but understanding that it is okay to address it. I thought I had to put up with it for various reasons, e.g. rule 26 - Learn to back off, shut up and walk away when you want to speak out (or scream and yell).

Like many newcomers, you are confused by some of the DB terms. It's okay, you'll learn.

Thanks Sandi. Yes, you are right.

I hope she gets treatment for her hormones, and for whatever else troubles her.

Me too. Before moving out, W said that seeing a counsellor was part of her plan, but that hasn't happened either.

I think by hormones she just meant her normal cycle. I don't think she is investigating anything or getting any treatment in that regard.

You do a good job taking care of your children by yourself. Be sure to take care of yourself, too.

((hugs))

Thanks Sandi. I appreciate your honest & direct approach, and all your help.