I don't want a divorce II NEW THREAD Pt 10

[LITB]

KC,

You are not stupid. Going through this, is likely the most difficult thing you have dealt with and it can be emotionally paralyzing.

We have established that you put way too much focus on your H. Why do you think that is? LH asked if you are in IC. Not being able to take the focus off your H, would be a good thing to discuss.

Here's the thing, you have to put the focus on yourself for things to change. You need to get to a healthy and happy place. You need to address your issues and improve your relationship skills. So when you move forward with your H or a new person, you will have already done the work.

Putting so much focus on your H, is slowing down the process for your sitch to move to the next chapter. There are no guarantees to the outcome, but getting to the next chapter has to be better than what you are dealing with now.

By not engaging your H in anything outside of what is absolutely necessary, is doing something.

Right now, your H is not doing any work, but that is not your concern or responsibility. However, if he were to say he was ready to come back now, neither of you would be prepared to how challenging piecing is. Piecing is not easy.

Next month, my W and I would have been reconciled for 6 years, however she has had some other issues surface and wants to go her own way. It sukks. I didn't break her, and it isn't up to me to fix her. I have removed myself from her life the best I can, with the exception of communication regarding kids and legal issues. Point being, piecing and recon present a new set of challenges and you better be in a healthy place.

Lastly, when is the last time you have read the threads from Cadet's Welcoming post? I'd suggest going back to review them. Even the ones in the MLC Forum.