You’re back putting all the focus on your husband. I really want you to understand that right now there is absolutely nothing you can do to change what’s happening.
I'm trying so hard NOT to put the focus on my H. I'm really working on things I can change in myself. I'm doing a program and setting a 30 day goal and then I'm starting another 10week course.
I know he was unhappy and hurting. I know he said he would never allow me to have another chance where he might get hurt again... its all so stupid... I'm so stupid... and I'm sorry.
I did one heartfelt apology. I won't apologize any more.
I am having a hard time seeing there is nothing I can do... as much as I struggle internally... I'm grateful I didn't blow up his phone with I miss you's or can we talk?... I have battled down all those urges. Its what I want to do. But, I know it won't work.
