I'll assume no OM/OW and you want to repair this relationship.
Originally Posted by West
Is it reasonable for me to ask him to stop directing so much anger towards me?
It is a great idea to set boundaries to protect yourself if he "rages" (the dictionary says that term implies a threat of physical force), becomes verbally abusive, calls you names, etc.
If he's simply upset, e.g., "This is so darn unfair! I didn't start this business. Now I'm saddled with $30,000 in debt!" Then, well, do you want to repair the relationship? Listening to and validating his feelings is probably a good step in that direction. "Wow--you sound really upset. I get it must feel unfair to be saddled with $30,000 in debt for a business you didn't start." It's okay to set a time limit on it, or even on occasion "I'm interested to hear more, but I'm tired, could we finish this later?"
Originally Posted by West
I am tired of it and I can’t apologize any more for my part in it.
Good, stop apologizing. 1-2 sincere apologies are plenty. Validation doesn't even require agreement.
Originally Posted by West
The law in BC does say we are 50/50 responsible for debt incurred during the marriage (there are some exceptions to the rules here). He disagrees with this, but that is the law.
When validating, don't "defend" your perspective.
(Of course, if he chooses to divorce, protect yourself to the full extent of the law.)
1-2 sincere apologies are plenty. Validation doesn't even require agreement.