I've been thinking about you and your family. I'm glad you posted an update. Stress is a sneaky thing because you think you are doing okay and then it sneaks up and reminds you that you need to relax a bit and get rid of some of the tension that you've been holding in. Sewing might be a good way to ease up some of that tension.
Glad your sons are doing okay and that CMM is holding his own for now.
Please, please take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.