Frankly my recent emotional tailspin is due to the legal process moving and my kids. It's fear of the future, and insecurity about my parenting (which every parent has at some level, I don't care who you are). It's not due to feeling the loss of my W. I can't remember the last time we shared a genuine moment of happiness that wasn't tinged with tension.
Disappointment is the primary feeling I have when thinking about the MR. We had something pretty great for awhile. Our kids could have had something really great. We were financially set up great. If the two of us could have just worked harder at it, or something. I don't know. I know I need to let it go, there's no magic time machine to go back.
I built something for 15 years. It fell apart. Now I'm left with the scraps and need to start building again. This time, I have 3 kids, estranged parents, huge support payments, and I'm living in a new place where I barely know anybody. It's going to be hard. Life is short, I only have one life, might as well embrace the challenge.
