While you haven't updated your own thread, I'm impressed how often you contribute to others situations. I'll try to contribute what you requested--new perspectives and ideas.
Originally Posted by ovrrnbw
W was baby crazy back in January and February. I told her I would need at least another year before I'd be ready.
I applaud you not adding more stress to a vulnerable relationship. With kids, you truly learn how little sleep or work you can get away with! It doesn't help your love life. Imagine a year passes and your relationship is still not satisfying--maybe a D+. What's your expectation? What's her expectation?
I wonder if you could tie her desire for the future to your desire for the future. I bet you'd feel much better about kids if you felt loved, secure, and that you each felt the relationship was balanced.
Originally Posted by ovrrnbw
I'm not allowed to get mad,
Well, yes, stop getting angry! I recall Yoda said something about resentment leading to anger leading to you getting a red light saber and fighting for the Sith. Maybe you could break the chain earlier?
Originally Posted by ovrrnbw
I've forgotten something. I have plenty of stuff going on in my life, I know I forget things. But I am at this strange point where every time she forgets something, I want to rub her face in it. she has an explanation and everything
Hmm. An explanation, both you have? What if you nipped this "forgetting" in the bud? I solved losing my keys with a device called a "Tile" so my Phone always knows where it is (IIRC, you're no stranger to tracking apps), I solved losing my credit cards by getting a slim wallet that attached to my phone, I solved remembering meetings through a combination of Outlook (w/ "Work", "Family", and "Personal" calendars), and I solved remember ToDo list items through apps like ToDoist or RememberTheMilk.
Originally Posted by overrnbw
I found a book called The Inner Citadel by Pierre Hadot. It is a study of Marcus Aurelius and stoicsim and I enjoy it and the history.
Ooh. Thanks for the tip! Will check it out.
Originally Posted by overrnbw
My BIL and SIL have been staying with us, 1 week at the end of March, and now again since last Monday. They live in Chicago and decided it would be better here...I am tired of them being here but things aren't real bad or anything and it is a little change of pace so there's some good to it as well.
How does your W feel about sharing the house with your in-laws?
Originally Posted by overrnbw
She is always asking about me sleeping in or going to work late and giving me trouble over this. It gets tiring hearing this every week.
I don't know your work situation too well, but why does she care if your work hours begin earlier or later? I suspect you want to move away from her "managing" your timeclock. Normally, you only have to worry about your boss or customers' reaction, unless it's affecting your pay or stability. "I choose to start later sometimes, and my boss/customers are okay with that. Why do you sound concerned?" and if it persists "I get you prefer to work earlier, but I don't." and if it persists, "We disagree; I'm asking you to drop the reminders."
Originally Posted by overrnbw
I grab some candy and W wants ice cream. I don't want to give her ice cream so I started cleaning up the kitchen and headed to the bathroom after. I can hear my W fuming about me stomping my feet.
Did you decline politely, or ignore her, or stomp your feet? When my son asks me to get something for him, often I do, but sometimes I might not and say, "Your feet have fallen off so you need my help?"
Originally Posted by overrnbw
she ramped up the volume, tone, and language and there we were with me the bad guy. She says I can't see it, I'm being out of line. I know I have a bias here but I'm trying to be cool. I walked out of the room after a while to go workout in the basement, as our conversation was going nowhere.
Did you try applying some validation to her feelings? E.g., "You felt I was angry at you, and that's why I wasn't getting the ice cream." Yes! "Wow--that must have hurt."
Originally Posted by overrnbw
I consider leaving this whole R behind a lot lately.
I can see why! I'm sure many of the things I said you've already considered, but I hope there's something useful in there. May you have a good day and get to that relationship somewhere over the rainbow. PS - Don't marry the woman with the green skin. Flying pigs > Flying monkeys.
