Sorry you're going through this. It's not an easy situation to be in.
The key component to all of this is time. A lot of LBS don't understand this at the beginning because they are emotional and panicking and in severe distress over the loss of the R. I know - I was in the same boat you were in more than a year and a half ago.
I am still separated in house. It has been 14 months.
Here are a few pieces of advice I can give you that I've learned throughout this experience:
- WAS are in crisis. This is about them, not you. So many newbie LBS don't understand this. Expecting a WAS to know what they want out of an R or if they want a D when they don't know what they are doing with their own life is too much of an ask. Avoid ALL R talks for the immediate future - all it does is confuse you, cause more emotional pain, and damage whatever rapport you 2 have left.
- This takes TIME. Many LBS struggle with this aspect. It will not be days or weeks, it will be months or years for a WAS to change their mind - IF they do. Figure out if you can wait that long.
- Figure out what you want and then stick to it. Do you want mediation and D? Do you want to see if it will work out? Will you be able to forgive W if she wants to come back at some point in the far far future? Do you want a chance at keeping your family together? The answers to these questions dictate how you move forward.
- Figure out a way to manage your anxiety. Meditation helped me. Reading mindfulness books helped me. Remembering to live in the moment helped me. Starting IC helped me.
Hang in there, man. These are difficult times - work on improving your mental fortitude and strength. You CAN do this
