I don't want to stop caring or showing my love and caring to him just because it's against DB rules. This is a very sad day. Even if he's still so far away from me, how can I not at least reach out?
So I did it. I can't be sorry I did. I love him and I care about him too. His pain, all of his pain, matters to me. I am going to be ok that it does and let my heart hurt that he keeps pushing me away. I did what my conscience knows had to be done. I offered love, kindess, physical affection (His main love language) and sympathy.
Believe - caring for our MLC spouse is not against any rules. And, the DB rules are not set in stone. Look at them more like tools, and you use the ones you need for repair or to rebuild. I remember very early on when I desperately wanted to reach out to my H after he had an injury. Some on this board just wanted me to let it alone, so I never checked up on him after the initial phone call from him reporting it. I regret it very much, because my real nature would have been to help, show concern, and follow-up. But, the old me was also the desperate fixer of our relationship, so I didn't want to fall into old patterns either. So, it's a fine line sometimes, and now I go with whatever my heart tells me to do. It's o.k. for you to do so also.
Your faith will get you through more than you can even comprehend right now. Hold tight to it, and let that faith grow even stronger.
