Cross countries separation EU

[sandi2]

It's great to hear from you, Pack! You continue to sound much better, so you are doing something right.

My two children have been with me for the last 6 days and today after my S6 video called my W and wanted to hang up early (something I always tell him off for because I am educating her in the love to both of us)

You've lost me. Could you clarify the words in parenthesis?

W: " I dont know what you and your family tell your son because he has told me he only wants to be there with you, he has more toys and he does not want to be with me.

I think it's fairly common for the kids to say something on this level, when they first experience a flood of new toys and a parent's undivided attention. He's missed his father, so he's talking like a six year old little boy.

And now go on and write to me one of your love paragraphs"

P...a...c...k, have you been sending her love paragraphs???

I am trying to change every defect on me and being the man and the father I want to be.

As long as you are making the changes for yourself and your children, then bravo. I think it's only human to want to make changes to draw back the WAW/WW, too. Just a word of caution so you won't get depressed.......should you not see her responding positively. She is so full of rage, that even if you were to become a perfected version of Pack, it's possible she still wouldn't want to reconcile. Know why? B/c the biggest problem currently abides within her own heart. In other words, she has to find her own path out of the anger she feels. Currently, she's still blaming you for her unhappiness and her anger. Eventually, she will have to find a way to heal, or she'll remain a bitter person.

The only other advice I have for now, is that you might need to cut back a little bit on talking about S6's mother. I respect and admire what I think you are trying to do. But you might be saying too much in his little ears, too soon. When he's talking to his mother, he might unintentionally convey the wrong message. Considering how touchy she is while he's there with you, she will likely find fault and her anger will blaze higher. I know you wouldn't try to influence her through something S6 says......would you? Like, try to impress something?

I'm very proud of you and how you were finally able to detach.......at least a little. You've gone four whole days of NC. Isn't that a record breaking number for you? Hey, it's a good beginning. We'll take it.

((hugs))