I feel bad for you, reading about all the turmoil going on in your life right now. I know it's hard. The only thing I can add is to take time and slow your world down. You're not ready, she's not ready, there's a crazy guy showing up at your house, the world stopped spinning with this virus...just slow it way down and focus on your fundamental life.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.