She told me she has been working on herself and things all this time. I dont see it but she seemed honest in this. It turned in to a 40 minute relationship chat.
Is she in IC? That would be a good step towards that end. Hopefully she's not just referring to some inner dialog that's taking place because that's not really progress.
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She apologized for what she did but wasnt remorseful.
Very typical WAS mindset.
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She listed out gripes with me, that I cant tell if she's expecting me to work on them or what.
Probably not, usually it's just their way of explaining/ justifying why they want out of the M. If you work on those things she'll say it's "too little too late". Some of it may fall under rewriting history, but if she told you some things that rang true then work on those things. Not for her, but for you, and for the future lady in your life. Your W may not grow from this but you can and should.
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I guess from here I start mediation then or do I give her time? If I give time, it looks like I am pursuing.
This choice should be 100% based on what YOU want, not her. Do you want to be done with the M, or do you want to give it some time? She's unlikely to change for a year or more, so we're talking about a lot of time, not a little. If you're not sure then take some time to think it over. I usually suggest that if you have any doubts then reevaluate in a month. When you get to the point where you have no doubts for a month or more, then you're ready.
