With kids seeing this as a normal marriage and me losing more alimony and time to build another relationship if I can ever trust again after this. I havent seen anything positive, only negative from her. I get why, she wanted out and she felt unsafe, unattracted or both because of my issues. What is your true take on what I do here? Wait it out indefinitely? If I did give more time, we'd still have a 1 to 2 year divorce process to go through. I still have time if I filed today. I think the big difference is W knows Im willing to walk away. Wayfarer, I'm throwing the card out for the kids, not me. I'm hoping it changes her mind. That is true. What I truly want is the kids to see a normal marriage or no marriage. D4 is already copying W and is saying she "isnt supposed to spend time or sit with daddy". Its not what mommys do.
Just want to chime in about the kids. I used to think about this as well with my kids (sometimes still do) - is this the type of father that they will model after in the future? Do they know that this is not "normal"? How is H showing them what responsibility is? ...etc. But I've come to realize that there is no normal. Kids will see enough "normal" from stories and TV to have a certain expectation of what a parental figure is supposed to be like. And over their life time they will go through their own experiences and tweak it themselves to have their own definition. One strong/stable parent is more than enough. In the grand scheme of things, this limbo is really not that long. Not that I am advocating for you to keep waiting, I just think that in most cases, more patience also benefits the LBS.
