Doing my thing & keeping a smile

[Pommy99]

Oh Wooba this is such a strange situation, and must be so difficult for you. You are showing incredible patience and resilience. He definitely sounds like a very lost soul.

Can I ask how you respond to him when he contacts you? Are you friendly and accommodating, let him come and go as he pleases? Do you have boundaries around him showing up? I’m asking because I’m struggling to get a balance with my H. I’m trying to set boundaries and he’s constantly pushing to overstep them. Like I’ve asked him not to come round or keep contacting me and he’s doing the opposite. I’m standing firm but I feel like I’m deliberately being cold towards him, when I actually want him to feel that it’s safe to come to me, to come to our house. I’m ignoring his texts mostly unless they are about the kids. It just doesn’t feel natural though to be anything other friendly and responsive.

Do you think he’s trying to get a rise out of you (re the example of the bank accounts)? Or is he looking for reasons to make contact because he wants to reach out to you?

Keep strong Wooba, you are making progress even if you feel like you’re not moving forward as much as you think