Trying to salvage the situation

[Ready2Change]

Hi Mr Change,

Sorry you find yourself in this very familiar sitch. Glad you found us. Some very wise people here to help you.

First,
I believe LH meant to say this:

I would be completely shocked if there was NOT a third party involved.

LH, correct me if I am wrong.


I have been here for a long time....got here in 08/09. I have been busy lately and not posting much.

.... I would be willing to at least try to talk and work through....

Talking will not get you out of this.

Making hard core changes to your behavior is important right now. Everything that works is counter-intuitive.

If you want to talk about something, fight every urge and STFU.

Most people do the wrong thing at the wrong time. Everything that she will do is predictable. You have to read like a madman and absorb as much info as you can right now. Know the best way to respond to a sitch BEFORE it happens.

Here are wise words I have collected from DBers:
https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712

There are at least a 1000 in no particular order. Read them all.



She has lost her attraction for you. Your main goal is to become attractive to her again. This will take some time. It is your behavior and confidence during this that will have the best chance of attracting her back.

Women are hard wired on what they are attracted to. Alpha male traits are what you need to add to your behavior immediately.


Two of my mantras:

1) I do not share my woman with other men.
2) I do not want to be with a woman who does not want to be with me.


I wish you well during this most difficult time. Just remember that everything will be OK no matter what she decides to do.

Prepare for the worst. After that, everything else will be easy.