My life makes no sense

[kas99]

Yes, I remember the movie Pollyanna. I saw it a very long time ago and if I'm not mistaken, Haley Mills is Pollyanna.

That's the one.

Yes, kas, this is an opportunity for you to grow and heal all of that pain that you've been carrying around. In time, that weight that you've been carrying on your shoulders will begin to lift, but it all takes time. You are on the right track of learning to love you.

I'm digging deep and seeing that my self esteem was non existent which is why I did whatever H wanted (and more). I thought without him I would be nothing and yet here I am a year later, without him, doing better than I was when I was with him. Crazy right?? By better I mean calmer.

As a mother, I can understand the worry that you have for your children, especially D14, at the moment. She's left alone a lot and has to rely on someone who is unreliable at the moment. I hope she continues to confide in you and no doubt...she loves you.

She texts, sends me funny video's, I help her with her online homework, friend drama, I'm doing the best I can from afar. I'm hoping I get enough support so she can move back in with me.

I can't wait to hear what you and your D either cook up or sew. You and your d will create some delicious things as well as sew up some beautiful creations...but like you said...you've got to walk through that tar pit at the moment.

I'm walking through a tar pit but I'm going forward. Laugh if you will but I've been doing small things like wiping the kitchen table daily or making my bed. I've been so depressed that I just stopped caring. I'm proud to report I've kept my kitchen clean for 2 weeks now, laundry is caught up, bills are paid, budget is on target. I still have times when my anxiety is through the roof but it's getting better.

I'm sure your nun's bedroom looks nice and comfortable. At least this is one project off your list of things to do.

My kids are happy (I am too). I like my nuns bedroom. I took the smallest bedroom because I have the least amount of stuff. It speaks to my soul because at heart I'm a minimalist. I'm steadily getting rid of things from my former life. I want to live a simple and quiet life.

kas, please stay safe, as well as your children stay safe. Our little county has now put the hammer down and effective Wednesday, we all will need to wear face masks when we got out to the stores, etc. It's to help flatten the curve, but my goodness...we all will look odd.

People are starting to wear masks here. I went ahead an ordered a few from Etsy over the weekend and I will feel completely weird wearing it too. I read today that masks will soon be the new seatbelt. Strange times for sure.