MoGirl... I know this is hard but you HAVE to take the focus off of him and put it on you. All of your posts are about him and what he is thinking and doing and feeling. You are driving yourself crazy with all of the what ifs. You need to STOP. Stop looking at his phone information. Stop strategizing. Stop wondering what he is thinking and doing. I guarantee you that he is not thinking about you at all except for when something comes up that makes him feel guilty which is when he tosses you some crumbs. But once his guilt is alleviated at bit, he goes deep into the fantasy of his affair. You cannot compete with that right now so don’t even try. Everything you are doing is telling him that you are a solid plan B so he’s not worried about losing you at all.
Stop worrying that what you are doing is going to cause you to lose him because you ALREADY HAVE. He has been working towards this for two years. In his mind, the hard part is over. You know about the OW and he has moved out. Even if he is having second thoughts, he is not going to act on them at this stage because he has come too far. You cannot guilt him into coming back and even if you could, what would you have gained?
What you do right now is critical. You have to put all of your focus into GAL and moving forward. You need to do this. You have to save yourself first so that you will be okay regardless of what happens. The odds of this affair working out long term are not good but you can’t rely on that because even if this one ends, it doesn’t mean he won’t move onto OW#2. I’m sorry. I know that hurts to think about but you need to understand that it is a possibility.
You are only a month into this. I totally get what you are feeling. I was a mess for four months before I really started to focus on me. It was really, really hard and so, so painful but I made it through and you will too. I don’t know if there is a MR#2 for you and your H in the future. It is entirely possible and I hope it happens if it is what you want once you have gotten through this time period. But...I guarantee you that MR#2 will not happen if you continue to try to hold onto him. Let him go. It’s the only way you will ever be able to get him back (if you even want that in the end) but more importantly, it’s the only way to get YOU back. (((HUGS)))
