Believe, I think you are right not to berate yourself. It's not easy to stop caring and stop wanting to be there for our spouses, especially when you, by nature, are a kind, empathetic person, which you clearly are. Better to remain empathetic than uncaring, I believe. You gave him an opening to talk about his dad, he didn't want to, and then you went on about your day. He knows you are there for him if he wants to talk, and you let it go after that--no need to prod him any more, as you know.
My H shut me out from his feelings after BD, but he has a history of shutting himself out from his feelings too. It hurts sometimes that he no longer wants to talk to me about his worries or confide in me, but I really don't think he is doing this with any of the new friends he has either. I could be wrong, of course, but I think it's too hard for him to begin to process any of what he's going through right now, so he avoids it. I guess, as in every other aspect of this, they are on their own timeline for when to begin to process their pain.
Happy Easter! You are such a kind and empathetic presence on these boards too. I hope you can also turn that back toward yourself.
