I'm so conflicted (what else is new right?) We had a good evening as a family yesterday including wrestling around (the kidlets love it) and H kept pinning me and being hands on (in a fun playful way) Then today he pulled a prank on me, so I threatened (in jest) payback. I did, one thing led to another and he initiated intimate time. Now I'm back to being normal - acting happy but distant, not reaching out to touch or thinking everything is peachy. He thanked me for cleaning after dinner, for the first time in I don't know how many months. He also has not reached out in even a casual touch. I've never been one for casual encounters, so I don't even have that to fall back on to know how to act. I realize I probably shouldn't have done it, but one of his chief complaints about me was that I never wanted to, and well, to be honest, I really wanted to. How bad did I mess up? Set myself back?
