but to him it must feel like love. He's wiling to risk everything he built with you for her. You and the divorce are now the only obstacles to his happy new life.
This has been the most difficult for me to accept. I know that he relied heavily on her and poured out his issues of our M to her... "she was there for him" were his exact words. I can see how if he felt rejected by me even though that wasn't intentional at all on my part that he feel that... but I can see how in his vulnerable state he fell for her.
Its strengthened by the fact they are all from the same small town. All went to high school together. They are all spending a lot of time socializing with one another. They are getting support of mutual friends, her kids, his kids, and his parents.
You are right... I can't hold a candle to that.
I kept thinking for the longest time he would see I was serious about getting my sh*t together and making this M the best it could be for both of us. He is just so burnt out in his own words.
Right now what he is going to looks WAY better than what he is LEAVING.
I know he lost emotional attraction for me... All the stuff I read is that if I pull back and leave him be that he will become curious and his emotional attraction will build again.
My only hope is to walk away and pray that he works through our issues... that the OW will be less of a distraction with more time.
He has a year.
I have worked through what would have to happen to get over the deal breaker of a PA... but I will not return to him after a divorce. That is the biggest betrayal of a M... weird I used to think it was a PA but all the journal I've done. All the reading... the watching videos... the working through of my emotions... D is the ultimate deal breaker.
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FYI - my ex is still with his other woman after nearly three years. I'm deeply sorry for what you're going through because I know the pain. I also can't believe the audacity of a cheater to introduce their affair partner to their parents when they're still married! That is just unbelievable to me. I'll be thinking of you as you do the best you possibly can through these fragile days.
Thank you for the update Nic - I hope you and your D are well and safe during this pandemic.
