I don’t know how to change my title. But if I could, it would be HELP.
So H at the beginning of this lockdown, was starting to come out of his shell just a tiny bit. Our daughter came home from grad school for what we all thought would be three weeks, and now, who knows how long. He was sleeping in her room, so when she came home, he went to sleep in the den. He ate dinner with us and we actually all watched a movie. In the last month or so, he had been a little more approachable and was not going anywhere, the OW had posted online she had a new BF and this had been off on H’s end since before Christmas.
Two weeks ago, H had to fly for work and was gone ten days. Before he came home, I told him, our daughter would move I to the living room and he could have her room to socially distance from us since he had been out and about. We also had brief texts while he was gone. Nothing urgent but he did text back, whereas he had not before. He agreed about going in the other bedroom ( I mean, I gave him a perfect option, he can close the door on the house going’s on) he thankfully has not gotten sick, but he is considered essential and leaves daily so I do not see her getting her room back any time soon.
Since he’s been back, I noticed he has been very distant. I remarked to my therapist that I thought something was happening. He won’t eat with us, definitely won’t sit and watch a program. He is very early after the BD behavior again. I went onto Facebook this morning, and his fake account states “single” on a hunch I went to OW and hers said the same thing, I looked, and yep, they are friends again. So the puzzle is coming into clear view. Just now, I looked and he’s “engaged to her” and hers no longer states her status. It all makes sense. The thing is, she 30 years younger, and lives in another country. So he’s not going to see her soon. But now I know, possibly when he traveled, they made contact. I know that maybe it’s possible his birthday triggered something, (it’s Tuesday) and next month is a year since BD.
Friends, I believe this is part of he MLC crisis. It cycles, doesn’t it?I think I got complacent because he was semi normal. I realize, even before the lockdown, he never moved out. He would come home at night 99.9% of the time. We could have basic conversations. Am I wrong to be hopeful even in the midst of this happening still? I want to stand for my marriage. How do I GAL when I can’t go anywhere?
I feel sad. Tomorrow I was shocked that he wants a ham. I honestly didn’t have anything planned. Now maybe we will eat together. But any help would really be appreciated. Thank you all PLC
