I get it. He felted trapped here. He was isolated. I became that reason for the feelings of being trapped and isolated and now those are no more... he if free and he is happy. With the extra free time with not working he is building stronger relationship with his parents.
If he were free and happy, you wouldn't get nasty texts/calls, and he wouldn't offer to repair things at your home. Those behaviors probably indicate feelings of anger and guilt, which he's directing towards you.
I'm getting angry texts/calls because things in regards to S/D and moving out his items are NOT happening on his timeline. I'm blocking access to things he wants. He pestered me for affidavit --- which I gave him in 36hr after he first asked.
Today I get texts trying to move my timeline for being available to have him move his stuff out...
Once his stuff is all out. He closes on his house Mon/Tues of next week then the angry texts/calls will stop. All communication on his end will stop.
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Doesn't he know you're willing to move? Assuming he believed you--talk is cheap and I think you said you accepted you goofed not planning to move with your son's graduation coming up when he'd sacrificed by commuting for years, although he goofed more mightily by not communicating and choosing to cheat, it's not a choice of long commute + you vs. short commute + ow. It's just a choice of you vs ow.
2yr ago I agreed to move when S18 graduated.
I think H felt my actions were showing I would not ever leave this house. We sunk nearly 20K in back yard for tree removal and new fence... it was dumb... should have been about 6k less with a different fence.... UGH... The fence should have been something to get the job done within HOA guidelines but we were not staying. There was still some reseeding and grating to do of the back yard.
H never said... but hey we are moving...
He stewed quietly letting his frustration grow... more things to dump on friend who would validate support, become emotionally connected to then PA.
Before he moved out there was sort of an R talk at the kitchen table. Probably shouldn't have been R talk but it was. I reminded H that I would move to to his town. I owed him and if he had just said its him or house it would have been him. He had gotten up from the table and as he was walking away stated "it wouldn't be a 150k house". I said I know its time to downsize.
Like most R talks that popped up before he moved out... he either was not looking at me... or walking away from me when I was speaking...
I was hoping I was planting seeds to sprout... that I was worthy of reconsideration... but I think he was just internally rolling his eyes... feeling chased and being pushed further away from me.
