I do agree with Job about leaving a positive impression, the point I'm trying to make is the difference between doing things like that to leave a positive impression on him and doing them as tricks to try and lure him back is all about expectations. If you can do those things with no expectations that it'll change anything, and with the understanding that you are just doing it for yourself and to leave him with a lasting impression that may have an effect on him down the road, then that is the right motivation. Just don't do them with expectations- like watching him closely to see if he notices or says anything or acts different. Because that's the path to disappointment and is also pressure on him at a time he wants no pressure. I hope my earlier comments weren't too confusing on this.
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I'm okay ALOT of moments... but then I suddenly have this stupid thought "he isn't taking any of the furniture... that's because she is moving in with him... they will have her furniture in his new house"
My ex was VERY quick to get a house. Rented first and then soon after bought one. I remember thinking she was doing it to set up house with OM (it's a pretty big house). It did get to me but eventually I just didn't care anymore. I knew who OM was and he was a nice guy, always friendly towards the kids (has none of his own) so as long as they were safe it just really didn't matter and honestly wasn't my business. Well guess what, here we are 8 years later, two kids grown and moved out, that OM now relegated to "distant friend" status and no new OM since. Mostly just XW alone in her huge house with S there every other week.
A big life lesson that BD and the aftermath taught me is the things I worry about rarely if ever come to pass. The things I don't worry about are the surprises life throws at me. So I really don't worry anymore, worrying is just a waste of energy better spent elsewhere.
