LovingIt: I appreciate your support. My W was not drunk when she said this. But I do realize these are just words and not behaviors. So I have held my boundaries and have not contacted her since she told me she told the OM that's she going to focus on her family, herself, her work, and her D. She did she is going to draft a finality statement with her IC. I have no idea if that has happened and I'm not going to ask (right, I shouldn't ask???). Her behaviors are showing me she wants to focus on the family. But I know withdrawals are coming. She is not moving back into my house. I told her that. There is still too much work to be done. And right now, all she has done (supposedly) is tell him she's focusing on the family.
Am I doing the right thing by sitting back and waiting for her to tell me what is going on? I told her I need proof that NC has happened. I told her I will be looking through all of her social media accounts to make sure he is gone (I have friends and family who also have ways to see he is gone from social media).
I spoke to my IC and he said when we begin MC I can ask for more proof and set up expectations with her that allows me access to her phone/accounts. I know a lot of you say that happens first but I would prefer it done with the MC too. My hope is we start MC soon after she tells me contact is over.
So when she comes to me and says she's ended contact: 1. Prove it 2. Let me see your phone 3. Go to MC and set up expectations moving forward. 4. She continues IC (which she has now gone to a few weeks in a row).
