Okay, now I see what you did. Thanks for explaining. You stood your ground. How did it feel to stand your ground? I hope it gave you the confidence you will need when packing up his stuff and being there when he returns Sunday.
I'm a little concerned it was a false victory? He needed something VERY BADLY from me. He had no way of getting this mortgage to closing without this affidavit. He was forced into cooperation.
Quote
One question...did he say that he was going to put in a change of address so that he gets his mail elsewhere? That would save a lot of time and aggravation all of the way around for the both of you since he claims that your place is a distance from his work site.
I suspect once he has closed on the mortgage and move into his house he will put in for a change of address. He doesn't get much mail here anyway - junk mail. He made it a point now to ask for his mail twice... AND , he let it slip he is expecting something important. So far, that hasn't shown up.
Quote
I guess he needed the bike for transportation these days. I'm "assuming" the lawyer said it was okay for him to remove it from the property? Is your name on the title and insurance?
Yes - atty knows. The bike is titled and financed in his name only. Insurance is paid through July and once he has a new address policy can be broken up.
Quote
I do think that by remaining calm and not discussing the relationship today was a huge step in the right direction for you.
Thank you. There have been huge misteps with text (let's face it, it's easy to misinterpret a text) and calls. So much negative emotions. I do have to pat myself on the back. The only dumb move all day was asking for a ride on the bike.
Quote
If you can remain calm and collected on Sunday, then there is nothing more you can do differently. Continue being friendly and if he speaks to you, talk to him. I wouldn't attempt to chat him up too much because he may be on edge waiting for you to talk about the relationship. Best to keep to topics such as work, the weather and the dogs.
Yes, hopefully we can continue to chat like we did yesterday. Though we covered lots of stuff I'm a little worried that we will run out of safe things to say? I'm hoping by working together to get things out of the attic and into the truck we might have a little fun and laugh a bit?
My biggest question for Sunday ---- Should I wear my ring??? I haven't taken it off and I'm certain he saw it yesterday still on my finger. Should he notice its not there??? I mean he was complaining and lashing out that I was not "letting him go". Would not seeing my ring on move his thoughts in a different direction.
I was also trying to NOT let him in the house proper but I imagine he will need to use the bathroom at some point during the process.
I thought I'd have some chicken and noodles going in the crockpot? Its an easy low stress thing to make and while it cooks for several hours it will fill the house with a scent that will make you hungry... so in case he does end up in the house... it smells good. Is this something I should do?
Quote
Sometimes, they come in to see if you have done anything different, i.e., like rearranging the furniture, new curtains/blinds, paint and if you have removed family photos or favorite photos and replaced them with new ones. It's called curiosity.
Nothing has changed yet... frankly too busy with work and dogs and moving H out. what down time I do have I'm working out, knitting and exploring self help/improvement/reading for improvement. I haven't taken down a single picture. Don't know if this is good or bad.
Quote
As for the spare fob for the motorcycle, I thought it was interesting that he remembered to get it since he had forgotten his license several weeks ago (which was a more important item to remember).
The bike is really important to him. Which is why is was hilarious when he just said keep it and you make the payments and I'll just go buy a new one. I should have NOT said this but I did share with him on the phone earlier this week that "you should know I had plans for you, me and that bike this summer... its hard to see it go"... that's when he said "you keep it.. you learn how to ride... well... that bikes really big for a beginner... you should get something a little smaller..."
Quote
Again, I do think that if you can remain calm and not get upset and take his bait to argue, things should go fairly well on Sunday. If he texts you between now and then, only respond if you think it is necessary and take some time to think about your responses before you post to him. If it helps, come here to get some "pearls of wisdom" on responses.
Well he texted like 5 times last night --- all about the affidavit. I responded to 3 of the texts and just ignored the last 2. He was getting VERY pushy and frankly nothing is going to change between 5pm and 10pm at night.
He waited to text today at noon --- "anything?". I had 3 more email exchanges with atty before noon and finally go the okay and what to write in the affidavit. He requested I email.
I texted him a simple "email done". It would have been nice if he said - thank you, got it, ok... any one of those but you know what? After hounding me for 24hr... I got nothing. Selfish H got what he desperately needed so I can go crawl in a hole and be forgotten now. Don't worry I'm not valuing my self due to his lack of social protocol. Its just a big neon sign telling me how dope I am for thinking this man might have the slightest doubt/waffle about his choice to end our M.
Quote
BTW, I apologize if I was too blunt w/you. I do not want to see him take advantage of you.
I've made a lot of mistakes... many that I am way smarter and know not to make. I'm dealing with my need to please him... to be nice to him... to be accepted by him.
Frankly I miss him and still love him - so I'm dealing with that too.
No apologies needed. I seriously appreciate the help/support even though my actions may not always show it.
