Please help

[Believe6]

Pharm, Please dont misunderstand my post. I am not saying to stop standing. You may want to read about detachment which Cadet shares in the welcome thread. When we say let go, it means allowing them time and space to think for themselves. By continuing to focus on their issues, thier pain, their thoughts about us or anything they dont willingly share, we are unconsciously trying to manipulate them. We want them to be who they used to be and they can't. They are in pain and lost and confused.

And darn it, so are we. We do smart contact to keep lines open without flooding them with out emotional baggage which tight now is heavy. They cant take it. So we focus on us so we have something to give if and when they turn back. But a must be patient. We must not cling to them. we must be our own life preserver.

Then when we've truly learned how to take care of ourselves for ourselves, we can be confident that when they do turn back, we wont fall into the same issues we had before. It is not about giving up, it is about letting go.

Hopefully this makes sense. Blessings