I don't want a divorce II NEW THREAD Pt 9

[job]

I will give you my take on what I am getting from your recent posts...you gave your h everything he wanted:

1. You played taxi cab, you went to pick him up and bring him back to your residence...but you also allowed him to drive your car.
2. He used your computer/printer/scanner. He could have used those items anywhere, especially at a friend's house, be it male or female.
3. He most likely checked out the place to see what had changed or to get an idea of what he will return to pick up.
4. He got to see the dogs
5. He was able to not only get the motorcycle, but also the spare key.
6. Did he pick up his license? The most important item of all? What about his mail?

As long as you are giving him what he wants and not crying, whining about things, sure he's going to be relaxed. Who wouldn't be relaxed when they are getting what they want?

Glad to see that you realized that you made an error by asking him to give you a ride. You have to remember...he's not your friend. Friends don't disrespect each other, friends don't like and cheat on each other. He fired you as a wife. Are you listening to your lawyer at all? Did you get on line and speak to someone about the value of that motorcycle before it left the property? Being nice and rolling over and giving him what he wants will not bring him back...but it is going to aggravate your lawyer to the point that if you continue to do things your way, he may just throw up his/her hands and tell you to find someone else to represent you.

He is going to point out every time he doesn't get his way that you are just like his xw. They do this to manipulate and control us. They do this some that we will jump through hoops to prove them wrong and yes, even give them everything that they have asked for. Again, as long as you roll over and give him everything he asks for, he will be just as nice and relaxed as can be. However, the minute you say no, that is when he'll show his true colors again.

KC, you've been down this road before...wake up! This is a business deal gone sour. You have to look out for yourself because he sure the heck isn't. Trust me...the only person he cares about right now is himself. You need to understand that he is going to continue to ask and take whatever he wants and if you don't stay firm on the word "no" and set those boundaries, well...then you will be sorely taken to the cleaners.

I've been here for a very, very long time and I have seen several instances of this type of relationship and the LBS is the one that ends up losing just about everything...please, please listen to us. Stop trying to nice him back. That is why it is important that he give you a list of what he wants so that you have some idea before he comes. If you don't have that list, I bet when he comes over and says he wants this or that, you will give him the items w/o a discussion.

Put those big girl panties on and protect yourself at all costs. No one wins in a divorce, but you need to come out of this w/half of the marital assets/money...not just a little bit...but half.

I am not posting this stuff to upset you, but to help you realize that rolling over isn't the way to go. You have every right to say "no" and if he doesn't like that answer, he can go sit in a corner and stew about it or speak to his lawyer.