why is it so hard when someone is venting at you to come up with such magic on your own!
It takes practice. Validation is magic because it's not our natural response. It takes effort to silence our default response, pause, and consider a validating response. I mention the video, the thread, and the book because I turned to those repeatedly. I practiced on my teenager and co-workers.
It doesn't help that your ex--like many you want to validate--placed "barbs" in those statements maybe intended to get a reaction from you. E.g., he probably wanted you to worry you'd upset his parents.
CW - What is your take on our day together???
The night before the texts and calls were angry on his end. But, in person things were casual. He would look at me when talking but not smiling. He did relax and one point and was discussing these videos... news stuff and had I seen them. Me? Not watching tv or the news right now but I listened and he said I could find them on FB.
I know I goofed by asking him to take me for a ride. His response was no response... not even looking at me and then when I wasn't sure if he heard me... he was silent again for 30 seconds before stating his excuse.
The night before when his texts and calls were getting angry... he even went so far to state I was being like his XW... I'm not able to let go... UGH... to be compared to her was painful.
