Talked to my lawyer today about my decision on the divorce and the assets involved.
She suggested adding in language at the top of her communication to my W's ATTNY about me still not wanting the divorce and preferring us to work something out. I was a little resistant to the idea, as I didn't want it to sound like I was pressuring her, but she said she could draft something and send it to me to see if I was okay with it.
Here's what she came up with for that part:
Quote
W's ATTNY, thank you for sending me the requested documents. I know we have touched on this subject before, but I want to make it very clear that CaptainN loves W and absolutely does not want a divorce from her. He believes the marriage could be saved and is willing to do whatever it takes to make that happen. If there is any possibility for saving this marriage, please let us know and we could table this temporarily while the parties explore their options.
My first thought is that it comes across a little too strong and would feel like pressure. I don't know, though. I'm not sure how this stuff really comes across when it comes from a lawyer.
Originally Posted by Ready2Change
I have been where you are. I see three things:
#1) she doesn't believe your changes are real. She sees them as manipulative. #2) You should stop explaining. That sets you back. Make changes. Do not talk about them. #3) Keep doing it. It is the right thing to do. Do not let her control you.
How she responds should not be your measuring stick.
Your measuring stick should be internal. Did I make a positive change in my behavior? Plus one. Did I do something I know I should not have done? Minus one.
That's pretty much what my line of thinking was, with the exception of number 2 as that was a suggestion from my coach.
