KitCat, I've never seen your situation as hopeless.
Your relationship with your H seems toxic--co-dependent attempts to control each other and wishy-washy boundaries. I don't see you as the Driver of the crazy train because he seems to steer it, but as soon as you learn to stop being a Rider and he sees he's on the crazy train even without you, your chances of reconciling grow as do your chances of being happy solo or with someone else. For many of us therapy (IC) was that way forward. There are also great books on self-compassion if you hate IC, e.g. Kristin Neff.
Originally Posted by KitCat
Clear boundaries were set --
He uses printer/scanner He gets mail He leaves totes He takes bike and goes on his way
Did he convince you to drop the boundary of getting the bike's valuation before releasing it to him? That was the one the attorney recommended and job/I gave suggestions on completing.
Boundaries control your actions to protect you. "If he's disrespectful, then I will hang up." What if he doesn't follow the above? Getting angry and reasoning hasn't sounded effective so far.
Originally Posted by KitCat
I'm down 18lb (wish it was 28lb but I'll take it) I look better than the last time he saw me. Hair and make up is on point!! Well about as point as you can be in times of no hairstylists. I'm in yoga pants because he can't not look at a great butt in yoga pants. Nice snug T to accentuate the assets. Nice perfume.
I bet he will notice! It sounds like you're at your sexiest and most beautiful and he may miss that.
The most effective changes are the ones he notices without prompting.
