I meant the first interpretation (and didn't mean for things to sound so ominous!).
In my case, once I accepted that trying to have a nice, amicable split was leading me to make poor decisions, I was able to see things more clearly, start being more assertive, and start taking control of my own life. (It's a process, I'm not there yet!) I was trying to continue being a "We" instead of "her" and "me".
Once your mindset starts to change this all becomes easier. You are just handling your business in a pleasant, non-confrontational way.
